There are two choices, love and fear. We can always choose to love and understand, to trust. Even if we are just trusting ourselves, especially if we are trusting ourselves and our judgement.
Or, we can choose to be uncertain and try to obtain the illusionary satiatey of control. Control is a treadmill.
On the path of self development this translates to two choices; feeling bad and being conscious.
If we dont like the way a situation was handled, the way we were treated, or the outcome in general; we can choose to feel bad and reminisce, we can choose to be angry and sad, or we can choose to be conscious and keep going. Things are as good right now as they can be. Accept it and grow.
We can love and celebrate, but we can also love and disagree, love and say "No". We can even Love and walk away. We can love and be right, love and be wrong.
Guilt and remorse hinder us from finding true resolution. Love and acceptance allow us to be conscious of ourselves and others, of dynamics, and move forward despite any ugliness that arises.
Self acceptance is a hot commodity, it prevents us from any self-questioning which incurs a debt. We actively live in a deficit of our own creation as we question ourselves.
Be aware of yourself, but don't question yourself. Love your mistakes, we are all human. We are going to fail and make mistakes. Beautiful lives have been born from the intimate "mistakes" of two people, nothing is a mistake. All mistakes are lessons if we look at them without guilt.
Ugliness is a reminder, and if we run from ugliness we will never find beauty. To be beautiful we have to love our ugliness, it has nothing to do with physical appearance.
Nature is full of beautiful ugliness: knotted trees, angler fish, storm clouds.
Guilt and remorse, reminiscing will never move us forward. It is a weight.
Consicousness, awareness, is always moving forward, despite the terms.
Love everyone who has wronged you. You may have to cut ties or set boundaries with some, but love them all. And love yourself regardless, it's your only hope. If not you hold a space for hate and self loathing, these are also treadmills.
Most importantly, love yourself despite your mistakes. We cannot cut ties with ourselves, but we can always transform.
To transform is to live consciously.
Life has no opportunity for perfection, only opportunities for conscious improvement. Those opportunities exist here and now. Rehashing cannot rewrite an ugly or imperfect history, but conscious and loving acceptance shapes the future. Not perfectly, but beautifully.